What could we be missing?

I’ve worked in the field of Child and Adolescent Mental Health services for Nearly 25 years and have a wealth of experience. But over the years I was still seeing young people struggling and not sure what I could do to help. That was until I trained in a life changing therapy.

Why do we see young people remaining stuck? Unable to move on from the intensity of their emotions and the behaviours they have begun to use as comfort and safety. Why aren't they able to apply the techniques and strategies we offer them? They offer engagement during sessions to then go away and not implement them and make progress towards the goal we set, or the goal we set for them. 

In my opinion the bit we are missing in understanding the needs of these young people and how best to support them is our lack of discussion and education about the nervous system. 

The nervous system is what is our constant, it’s the unconscious analysis of our external and internal environment for safety. It’s on standby 24/7 to look for threats and danger and communicate them to the rest of our body and mind to act accordingly. 

For so many of our young people their nervous systems are stuck in hypervigilant or freeze mode. They have experienced an overwhelming level of stress and trauma that have led them to develop the beliefs that “the world is unsafe” and “I can’t manage the feelings I am experiencing”. 

They are stuck because their system is stuck, they are navigating the world from a worn out and burnt out system that has little capacity to think it’s way into better thought patterns and behaviours. 


Teaching them nervous system awareness, helping them understand what is happening inside of them, letting them know that the system that is designed to act in a way to protect them and to help them survive is doing its job, but that their systems have been overworked. 


They've had too many stresses and threats to continue to strive and learn. Their once large window of tolerance is now a fraction of what it was. Over time, their capacity to cope has been reduced, the effect of stress on their appetite, their sleep, the engagement with social activities all contributing to them becoming less able to achieve. The capacity reduces but the stresses remain the same, often school pressure. This forces them to function even more outside of their window of tolerance. Leaving them functioning in the  hyper aroused or hypo aroused states. 

This is where we see anxiety, depression, PTSD, and OCD. All behaviours they have subconsciously created as a way of coping. When we are unable to complete the cycles of mobilisation caused by the nervous system’s detection of stress we accumulate a host of unprocessed and unfinished emotions. When we freeze we are creating wounds, creating beliefs that feed into our perception of ourselves and the world. Continuing along the trajectory towards poor self-esteem and confidence. Reinforcing their belief of not being enough, being stupid, that the world is unsafe and they need to protect themselves. 


Covid had a real impact on our young people. We don't really ever acknowledge this now. They were forced into ever changing circumstances. Never had the time to adjust or even understand why certain protocols were put in place, but instead fed constant fears around survival. Let alone the impact of how they were removed from their social networks, driven to communicate and interact at a distance and through a screen. For some children they saw first hand the worry and stress of parents and families experiencing the real consequences of the virus. 


A large majority of these young people remain in that state and still believe the world is unsafe, as part of them remains frozen. What looks like laziness and apathy is a nervous system unable to reset and find its balance again. 


This is where somatic therapies like Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can help. EFT offers a safe and simple way to begin the process of unfreezing and finding safety and beginning the process of change from the bottom up. Tapping is a therapeutic tool that has the potential to make a big difference in the lives of young people who have faced anxiety, stress and trauma.

It is effective, evidence-based, easy to implement, and super accessible, making it a very powerful option when it comes to helping our youngsters who are suffering from the long-term effects of emotional dysregulation. EFT combines exposure therapy with cognitive reframing and the use of gentle tapping of certain acupressure points on the face and body. 


Their cognitive brains may well know the virus isn't a threat anymore, but they are back in school like it never happened. We know we only use 5-10 % of the conscious brain, and the rest of our responses come from the subconscious that stores all our unprocessed emotions, our belief systems and the actions that are formed in habits and patterns . Whatever we may think using the conscious brain, the subconscious brain believes differently, until we change at that level. The tapping component of the EFT process gives the subconscious and the nervous system the signals of safety, bringing them out of fight and flight and completing the stress cycle that didn't get finished. 


So this can allow them to begin to believe the changes on a more visceral and physical level. We can't talk ourselves into feeling safe. We need to feel it so our bodies communicate to the subconscious that the threat is over and that will support us moving into the parasympathetic state. Where we can reset, recover, rest and make new behaviours from a better aligned and balanced nervous system. 


The vagal tone (which is key for moving out of the various states) can begin to strengthen, the window tolerance slowly increases, allowing for more space. The cup of capacity increases so they can manage more. They can use the techniques that have been previously given. They engage back into the learning, being motivated to move forward and make people proud of them.


Teaching EFT as a self-soothing technique for them to use in the moment can help reduce anxiety, on a day to day basis. Using it in its full therapeutic capacity allows deep change to be made. It can address the subconscious level of distress, in ways that do not need to live out the past trauma. Little use of words need to be used, as the memories are stored using our senses, we engage back on that level. We listen and communicate with the body’s language. What is the body sharing with us; the sensations, the feelings. Getting descriptive with colours, metaphors and imagery makes the therapy much easier to access for some young people than talking alone. 


So this is what I think we miss when we are only working on the level of changing thinking styles and patterns. Unless the body feels safe then attempting to change thinking is futile, as they need that protection to stay safe. 

Educating young people and their parents (I think this is key, parents need to learn too) about  the different states of nervous system health. Helping them develop a map of what is happening for them in each state,  acknowledging how they know they are moving from one to another, what thoughts, feelings and behaviours are presenting themselves. Do they need to down regulate from anxiety or do they need to move the body into mobilisation to move out of the hypo state, or dissociation and freeze. 


This is when we can introduce more and more simple techniques that can become a daily practice to begin the healing journey. Much like recovering from a physical wound, a broken leg or a long term health condition, we need to build up our strength.

Yoga offers many approaches from simple postures to breath techniques and meditations. Dancing, singing, humming and chanting all help activate the vagus nerve to support its strengthening. 


Like most things, it takes time, consistency and effort to bring about change. But I have seen it again and again, the simple and often quick results EFT can get when so much has already been tried. 


To learn more of what EFT can be used for and what the research is showing. Follow these links:

5 Surprising Ways Tapping Affects Your Body (That Science Has Confirmed)thetappingsolution.com

Research: Tapping Ranks as One of the Most Effective Treatments for PTSD in Young Peoplethetappingsolution.com


EFT International (EFTi) is a governing body for the therapeutic modality, regulating and continuing the research and development across the world. 

Here is the page where they explain what EFT is and how it can be used. I will leave it here, rather than continue writing more. 

https://eftinternational.org/discover-eft-tapping/what-is-eft-tapping/


I am a registered certified advanced practitioner with EFTi and continue my CPD and supervision through them annually, as well as being fully insured for my work. 

Research is being done all over the world, and we are making huge advancements in understanding more and more about how this 4th wave therapy is helping so many people to move out of trauma and pain and into a more fulfilled and joyous life. 

Dr Peta Stapleton who has 20+ years experience as a registered Clinical & Health Psychologist, and is an Associate Professor in Psychology at Bond University in Australia heads much research on EFT and here she is giving an update of where we are with the current evidence:


2024 EFT Research Update


I’m always enthusiastic to talk more about the nervous system and its key to us understanding more of how we can support young people. I offer one to one work online for young people and their families. I will often work with the parent alone, as we know that by supporting the parent to be more regulated, to process their own emotions and feelings it can directly affect how the young people are managing to navigate all they have in front of them. 


Please reach out if you are needing to chat, discuss ways of working or feel free to pass my details on to anyone you think may need some support.


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Climbing out of a hole........